


Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch

by odofidi



Series: Someone Exactly Like You [6]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Boys In Love, Fluff, Love, M/M, Marriage, Nicknames, Pet name, Teasing, affectionate nicknames, these two idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:20:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24048850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/odofidi/pseuds/odofidi
Summary: "We're just not nickname people".David and Patrick argue over the origins of "honey".
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Series: Someone Exactly Like You [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1703641
Comments: 14
Kudos: 211





	Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch

**Author's Note:**

> So this little thing (little, its almost 2k I'm an insane person), came to me when I realized that despite the fact that he never uses one on the show, this entire fandom has 100% decided that Patrick is a "baby" person. Which I get, it's the go-to pet name for your significant other. I myself have been guilty of it in the past. But since these two have never been heavy on the pet names, I decided I wanted a reason. Or rather, for David to think he has a reason.
> 
> It's silly and fluffy and gosh darn it I hope you kids enjoy.
> 
> I have no beta. All mistakes are mine.

They had finished for the day quite a while ago at this point. The sign had been turned. The till had been balanced. A deposit had been prepared to go to the bank in the morning. Stocks had been replenished. The floors had been swept. Everything was done. Except David was still on the phone, with no end to the conversation in sight. So Patrick waited.

Patrick sat on the counter by the cash, his feet swinging slightly as he looked out the front windows. People were milling about on the street, most of them walking towards the Café for dinner, or leaving the Café after already eating. Some people were passing by on what was obviously just an evening walk. Patrick envied all of them. He wanted nothing more than to go home right now. And eat. He was hungry. It was after all, almost 6pm. They had been closed for almost an hour and Patrick was tired.

David’s voice floated out from behind the curtain as he continued to negotiate with the person on the line. Patrick smiled at the sounds of his husband’s “stern business voice.” Most people would be shocked to learn that David had the ability to have these kinds of conversations. David wasn’t exactly known for his business acumen. Most people in town assumed that any and all success they had with Rose Apothecary was because of Patrick and his business degree. But Patrick was more often than not, just the numbers guy. David was the one who connected well with their vendors and who made most of the deals, Patrick simply came in at the end with a contract to sign.

Patrick loved that he was the only person who really got to experience this side of David. Most days. Today he was tired and just wanted to go home.

Patrick hung his head as his feet bounced off the side of the counter. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine being at home. On his couch. Watching hockey. Or an old baseball repeat. Hell, at this point he’d take watching a rom-com as long as it meant not being at work anymore.

Patrick startled as David wrapped his arms around Patrick’s waist. Patrick sat up slightly just as David stepped fully between his legs and rested his forehead against Patrick’s sternum. As though by muscle memory, Patrick’s hands found their way into David’s hair and his head dropped down to rest on top of David’s.

“Done?”

David sighed deeply. “Yes. Finally. I’m sorry that took so long.”

Patrick shrugged. “That’s okay. Long as you’re done now.”

“I just want to check…” David attempted to stand and extract himself from Patrick’s arms, but Patrick held tight.

“David. Please. I just want to go home. Please baby, can we just go home?”

David stood up and cocked his head, looking quizzically at Patrick. “Huh.”

“What?”

“You called me ‘baby’.”

“Yeah…”

David shrugged and stepped back, leaning over the side of the counter to grab his bag from the shelf under the cash. “Nothing. You just never call me that.”

Patrick jumped down from counter and walked over to the door, opening it for David. “What are you talking about? I call you that.”

“Oh sorry.” David stepped through the door and went down the first step before turning back to watch Patrick lock the doors. “You never call me that while fully clothed.”

Patrick laughed as they walked down the street to Patrick’s car. “I don’t think _that’s_ true.”

“It’s fine.” They climbed into the car and Patrick pulled out of his parking spot, aiming them towards home. “We’re just not nickname people. Which is fine. Every time I think about nickname people I just think of my sister and Ted on that tree walk last year and “babe” being said every two and a half words.” David grimaced. “Ew.”

Patrick laughed and shook his head. “Okay…”

“What?”

“You do realize you call me ‘honey’ all the time.”

“I wouldn’t say _all_ the time…”

“Sure.”

“And that first one was _obviously_ a joke.”

“You tell yourself whatever you need to sleep at night.”

“When I called you that the morning after we got engaged? It was obviously a joke!”

Patrick smiled as he pulled into their driveway and put the car into park. “That wasn’t even close to the first time you called me ‘honey’.” He smirked at David and climbed out of the car before David could respond.

“ _Excuse you_ , yes it was!” David jumped out of the car after him, following him into the house at a hurried pace. By the time David got through the front door and had removed his shoes and hung up his coat, Patrick was already in the kitchen, turning on the oven and pulling a pizza out of the freezer.

David stomped into the kitchen after him, arms crossed tightly across his chest. Patrick was standing at the island, reading the instructions on the pizza box. “Do we want extra crispy crust or just regular?” He looked up to see David’s petulant face and laughed.

“Don’t laugh at me.” Patrick smiled softly as David continued to frown at him. David muttered something under his breath.

“What was that?” Patrick couldn’t stop the smile on his face now if he tried.

“I _said_ its _slander_!” Patrick turned to put the pizza in the oven, solely so David wouldn’t see him laugh. “That first time was a _joke_.”

“Oooooh.” Patrick turned around and began folding the pizza box up to fit into the recycling. “I see where the problem is.” He threw the pizza box in the recycling, taking a moment to stretch it out simply to bother David. “I 100% agree that when you called me ‘honey’ the morning after we got engaged, it was a joke.” Patrick walked over to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of water.

“Thank you!”

“That was _not_ the first time you called me it though. Not even close.” Patrick smirked as he walked past David, opening the water and taking a sip as he walked into the living room. He sat down on the couch and grabbed the TV remote from the coffee table, hoping to catch the end of the Maple Leafs game. He took a sip of water to hide his smirk as David came careening into the room.

“What?!” Patrick blinked up at David innocently. “What do you mean that wasn’t the first time I called you ‘honey’? It absolutely was.”

“David.” Patrick couldn’t hold back the laugh that burst through. “David, you called me ‘honey’ before you called me your boyfriend.”

“How dare you.” David dropped into the comfy chair to the left of the couch. It was his favorite chair, closer to the fireplace, cozy but not too cozy that you’d immediately fall asleep if you started reading a book in it. But right now, it was David’s sulking chair. “Slanderer.”

Patrick eyed David for a moment. David was always complaining that Patrick’s memory was too reliable for his own good. Patrick knew David just hated when he used it against him. And boy was he going to hate it now. “You called me your boyfriend a week before our 3rd month anniversary. I remember, because that night after you fell asleep, tired I’m sure from your toilet plunger tirade…” David stared at him, mouthing “tirade?!” but keeping silent as Patrick continued, “I went online and tried to find a sappy ‘for my boyfriend’ card. Hallmark oddly doesn’t make one. Which is why the next week when I sent you those flowers, I had to make my own.”

David’s scowl dropped slightly as he remembered the bouquet of flowers that had been waiting for him at the store that day, and the card that went with it. It was far too sappy for his taste, but part of him had known Patrick was screwing with him. If someone asked him, David would admit it was probably when he had started falling in love with Patrick.

“You called me ‘honey’ about two weeks prior to that.”

“I did not.”

Patrick stood and moved to lean over David, bracing his hands against the arms of the chair as he leaned down slightly. “We were watching a movie in my room at Ray’s.” He kept his voice low as he kept steady eye contact with David. “And I went to go make more popcorn. And as I walked down the stairs you yelled after me, ‘Honey, can you grab me a water?’.” Patrick smiled and leaned into David, kissing him softly. “You’ve been calling me it ever since.”

David grimaced slightly. Patrick laughed and kissed him again. “It’s fine. If I didn’t like it I would have said something. Though now that I know how you feel about nicknames…” Patrick straightened and started to move away when David grabbed his shirt and pulled him back.

“No. No. It’s fine. If you like it…” He kissed Patrick deeper, unwinding his crossed arms to slip a finger into Patrick’s belt loop, keeping him close.

They stayed there for a minute, losing themselves in each other until the oven timer beeped loudly, forcing them to pull apart. David whined slightly at the loss of contact. “Dinner.” Patrick pulled away fully, starting towards the kitchen. “Come on, Muffin, let’s go eat.”

“Ew. No.”

“Sweet cheeks.”

“Stop.”

“Angel cakes.”

“No.”

David stood and followed Patrick into the kitchen.

“Shnookums.”

“I don’t even know what that is and I hate it.” Patrick smiled as he pulled the pizza out, placing it down on the cutting board on the island.

“Pumpkin, can you get the plates?” David made a gagging noise as he moved to the cabinet. “Thanks, Buttercup.” David scowled as he placed the plates on the counter next to the pizza as Patrick began to cut it. Patrick placed two slices on a plate and handed it to David. “Here you go, Sugar Pie.”

“You can stop any time now.” David threw him a dirty look before grabbing the plate and walking back towards the living room.

“Sure thing, Precious.”

“Just for that we’re watching _Notting Hill_ again.” David collapsed onto the couch and began pulling up the film.

Patrick handed David a napkin as he sat down in the chair David had been in earlier. “Whatever you say, Babe.”

“I want a divorce.” David’s scowl grew impossibly deeper as he ripped a bite off his slice of pizza.

Patrick could only laugh.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "I Can't Help Myself" by The Four Tops. 
> 
> Hope everyone is staying safe. It's now, on top of the quarantine orders, very very warm here in Los Angeles. And I'm the smart kid who lives in the hottest area of Los Angeles. Thank goodness for air conditioners.
> 
> Stay safe out there! And as some places start to open back up remember to keep 6 feet away from each other. Wear your masks. Be smart. Keep washing your hands. And reach out to someone (or one of the amazing help lines!) if you are feeling sad and depressed and need someone to talk to. This is a crappy crappy time my friends, and we will get through this together. Remember. You are loved and you are wanted. 
> 
> Stay safe. Keep on loving each other.


End file.
